Can I be a leader?

I am completely experiencing a cultural shock this week at Calvin. All stereotypes that I had in American education, culture and even Christianity utterly shattered. And I am moved by the shock that is encouraging and full of hope. I am grateful that I am here getting a Christian education for the first time, having discussions with Christian educators, and putting my goals on Christian values.
Keeping my belief on education in a city public school setting was not easy at all. I was disappointed and discouraged by its mechanical approach to the education and legitimate limitations I have faced in directing students. I was tired. I am not blaming anyone for it because it’s a massive chaos of the system and I was helpless about it. At the same time, there were still many things I could do in my little area that could inspire and guide students to the positive direction because I believed that Christians were supposed to be faithful in the area that they were placed. I learned to be distinguished, not separated from the world. But that was a lonely journey and I used to ask God to show me how I can go through this in American public school setting where multiple gods and no values were found. I wanted to take it as my mission field but I failed. I was becoming one of them, giving up my values, and chasing after my sense of accomplishments. Although things seemingly benefited students in many ways (getting into a better college and winning numerous competitions), I felt vain and ironically empty.
Then, I came to Grand Rapids and totally lost. The fake pride I had has turned into a sense of inferiority and depression. Part of it was because I wasn’t able to find a job and didn’t have a community to spiritually support me. Gradually I put myself together before God and saw that this process was necessary for me to see God again, not hopeless Soyeon. I was thankful again because I was able to focus on what God has promised to His people, not what powerless one can offer. During this course, when I tried to plug myself into all the little functions and roles of a leader, it was so discouraging and I didn’t’ think I could be a leader.
However, when we were talking about the vision of God’s Kingdom, my heart was full of excitement. The vision, the values, and leadership principles based on the Bible were so refreshing to me, almost new to me in a classroom setting. It was an eye opening experience to me. All the activities such as reading Bible together, sharing insights, and searching for the same vision that God has given us confirms that I am not alone, actually there are many out there struggling to make the learning environment more Godly. I receive great insights and affirmations from the class.
I also realized that God will lead when He needs to. I don’t have to worry about being a leader at this point. A leader is someone, who leads them into a new or better place. As a Christian, my vision is to lead people into God’s kingdom, especially in an educational setting. Then, my position wouldn’t matter as much as how I take them. Ultimately God will lead us to His Kingdom.

Can leadership be learned?

I used to believe that the leadership is an innate quality up until last week. In fact, I have never doubted it and thought deeply about it. Generally, people who are more outspoken and initiate things are to be considered as leaders in a group because they influence the people around and move them somewhere else good or bad. However, as I look back and analyze direct and indirect experiences, I started to wonder “Is it really innate?”
During the interview of the former principal of a high school, my interviewee mentioned that the leadership quality is the combination of something that you are born with and trainings to develop them. He said that a leader supposed to have an inner strength and organizational skill to start with. Then affirmations from others and other trainings are followed to maximize the capacity of being a leader. I agreed with him and saw his point in the beginning. As I think more about it, though, I came up with a slightly different conclusion.
He thought only certain people are born with the quality of leadership but I think everyone is born with the ability to lead a group. We all become leaders of some sort as we get experience on a certain thing. Fathers become a leader of a family, teachers lead the classroom, and most of company officers get promoted to a leadership position as they get experienced. I know not all men become a father, not all become a teacher and not all get promoted. But if they want to lead, through the right training, the leadership quality can be developed. So, yes I agree that leadership quality is innate and can be developed through learning or training. Not for certain people but for all.
It is similar to the idea that everyone is born with the ability to teach. In the book of Matthew, before Jesus was taken up to heaven, he said, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey every thing I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20) In this passage, Jesus gave the great mission command that we must go and make disciples and teach them about Jesus and his laws. That being said, we all are capable to teaching and leading.
Then, why not everyone leads a group? I think it is the matter of motivation and passion. As we experience the distorted reality of this world, we are tired, discouraged, and sometimes too selfish to care about other than self. We all see problems but not all of us want to solve it. Many of us just live with it, complaining and blaming others.
In fact, not a single one of us is a perfect leader. We all struggle and stumble as we learn. That doesn’t mean that leadership quality isn’t there. Different interests and passion are the factors where you lead. I do not think all can be an effective president, an effective teacher or an effective CEO because all of us have different interest and passion. Again, I think the motivation and passion are the keys to leadership and where your heart is where you can be trained to become an effective leader. So, being a leader and being a principal sounds different to me at this point. I need to ask myself, “Do I have passionate heart for schools and education in this country?”